Choosing to Talk About It

In the summer of 2018, the General Commission on the Status and Role of Women encouraged the bishops of the Philippines to each suggest one person to attend the Do No Harm sexual ethics training. They accepted this offer and we had the pleasure of meeting and hosting Rev. Jerrick Cortado, Rev. Excelsis Beting, and Rev. Marie Sol Villalon in San Antonio, Texas in October of 2018. Deaconess Phebe Crismo attended Do No Harm 2015 in Chicago

I have recently returned from a week of work in Manila, Philippines. Our General Secretary and I were invited to be a part of the Philippines' Central Conference Do No Harm training. The decision to offer this training came from the leadership and vision of Bishop Ciriaco Francisco. He extended the invitation to Bishop Rudy Juan and Bishop Pedro Torio who also serve episcopal areas in the Philippines. They accepted the invitation. The meeting room was filled with women and men who serve as chairpersons of Boards of Ordained Ministry, district superintendents, church pastors, deaconneses, and college faculty. What happened next is the result of leadership choosing to prioritize and talk about the reality of sexual misconduct within The United Methodist Church.

Bishop Francisco chose a coordinator for the project. Jennifer Ferariza Meneses, Executive Secretary for The Board of Women's Work is passionate and committed to this work. Alongside the four participants to Do No Harm 2018 and 2015, they developed a model four day training. The days and evenings together included worship led by each of the bishops, training on the development of a sexual ethics and boundaries curriculum, the use of Response Teams, the use of trained support persons to walk alongside persons named in a formal complaint of sexual misconduct, and the judicatory response upon receipt of the complaint. Additionally, they included experts from their community who spoke on this issue. An attorney who serves as the Public Information Officer of the National Union of People's Lawyers outlined Philippine laws on sexual violence; a feminist theologian and Executive Secretary for The International Committee for the Fellowship of the Least Coin defined and discussed gender and sexuality; a member of the Pontifical Commission for the Protection of Minors and Director of Catholic Safeguarding Institute of Emmaus Center for Psycho-Spiritual Formation described the Roman Catholic Church's experience in handling incidents and cases of sexual misconduct. Everyone was engaged in conversation, thinking, and planning during each training component.

And then something happened that I have never experienced to that degree before. Participants, women and men, spontaneously stood up at microphones and shared their personal stories of experiences of sexual misconduct in the Church. Many wept as they recalled feeling helpless with no one to turn to. The room filled with much emotion, concern, and thought as we witnessed what happens when people choose to talk about IT.

After the stories stopped, Bishop Francisco came to the front of the room and spoke. He asked for every chairperson of Boards of Ordained Ministry to stand and be recognized as key persons in helping develop and provide mandatory sexual ethics training including healthy boundaries and self-care to all clergy. He also made a statement acknowledging the need for a designated safe space in every annual conference for persons to report any experience of sexual misconduct. His voice was clear as he stated, "Accountability is inherent in our relationship to one another."

We have learned the hard way that only with the unwavering support of the conference leadership will we choose to talk about sexual misconduct in a way that brings change. So thank you to the leadership in The United Methodist Church in the Philippines for the courage to look this problem in the eye and not deny the harm caused to the victims and survivors of sexual misconduct. You are right Bishop Francisco, "this is the call of the times." My prayer is that others will follow your lead.